dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
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Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
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Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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