just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
