If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
