need another drink. this is the easiest way
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
