How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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