I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
