oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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