Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
