she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
