He is an equal opportunity slut.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
