Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
operation harelip BJ is a go
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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