Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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