hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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