sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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