He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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