As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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