I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
third nipple confirmed
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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