I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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