What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
