Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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