Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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