Duck Duck Cougar?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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