I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
