Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
