opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
