I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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