My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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