Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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