It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize