I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
operation harelip BJ is a go
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize