I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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