You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
