I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
