So drunk its hurt
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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