You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
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