Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize