Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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