Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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