I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
