Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
