I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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