after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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