On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
