Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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