first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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