just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
