the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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