My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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