I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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