Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize