And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just blew my weed a kiss
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
