Well douche your snatch and let's go!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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