My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize