Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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