So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
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had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
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Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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