3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
