So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
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