He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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