he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
