smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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