my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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