o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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