His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
